The Sneeze That Teased

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I once tried to sneeze but just couldn’t.

Begged it to come but it wouldn’t.

The message got to my brain

but ‘Achoo!’ never came

Is it still called a sneeze if it didn’t?

*                            *                                  *

It’s like trying to go number two

And sitting forever on the loo

The feeling is there

But number two is nowhere

The darn poop is now overdue!

*                         *                                *

So back to this sneeze.

Humor me if you please.

I am sure it has happened to you.

It’s a pain in the ass

Sorry, nose.  That’s too crass

But why must you be such a tease?

*                               *                               *

The Author, Feb. 26th 2013

 

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Interview With The Dead Pt.1

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Me:                So you are dead, right? Like totally?

The Dead:  Of course, of course, just look at me

Me:                          But..But that can’t be right!

                             Shouldn’t you only be out at night?

The Dead:     No my friend, things have changed

                           We are now what is called free ranged

Me:                         Can you believe this crazy shit?

                                     This is sure to be a TV hit.

                                    I feel as though I’ve gone insane

                                   Or this is just some silly game.

                                   A dead man right in front of me!

                                    An apparition, a ghost, a damn zombie!

The Dead:            Are you done insulting me?

                                    It’s not a show but reality

                                  I am dead, yes really dead

                                 Just let it sink into your head

Me:                       Of all the crazy things I’ve done

                               This has to be the weirdest one

The Dead:          Why don’t you write a blog post

                               About interviewing me, the ghost?

                              Readers might think it’s cute and funny

                              And maybe it could even earn you money.

Me:                    Dead man, you sure stink up the joint

                            But I admit I do see your point.

                              I will blog about this interview

                            That I had today with you.

                              Maybe someone will be impressed

                            And then I could be Freshly Pressed…

                           Goodbye Mr.  Dead man, see you later, NOT!

                          Rest In  Peace, or should I say ‘rot’?

th

When Heroes Fall – The Blade Runner

 

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Up on a pedestal they stand,

Far above it all,

Then one day with a crash,

Our heroes they  fall.

How could it happen?

Such a great man was he.

No way he could have done it!

Please find him ‘not guilty’!

But alas, it is so,

Guilty as charged,

Even if the justice system

Let him stay at large.

Our God has fallen!

Committed a crime!

Now he’s just like us,

A humankind!

But he seemed so incapable

Of such a heinous act.

It’s just not like  him,

He could never attack.

Our heroes are human

Like you and like me.

They are also innocent

Until proven guilty.

But a crime was committed

And soon we will see.

Was our guy a real hero

Or just a forgery?

Finding Love

I once knew a guy who said

I believe that love is quite dead!

Or it is surely a myth

There’s just nothing to it

It’s totally all in your head!

*

I know that I can lust

And like if I really must

But love’s not a part

Of my mind or my heart

 I don’t understand what’s the fuss.

*

Then Cupid, he came a calling

And before long, the man was falling

Head over his heels

Like slipping on peels

In Love, which to him was appalling.

*

Now a wife and three kids has he

In love and very happy

I am close with his wife

Actually living his life,

For that man, you guessed it, is me!

*

Happy Valentine to my wife who taught me what love is.  Love you,babe.  th

My Opinion

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I have an opinion!

Surprised are you?

Well no need to be

For you have one too.

I use it like a weapon

Always ready to fight

And most of time,

I’m always right.

*                  *                 *

It’s not always popular

Some get hurt, I fear

But I offer no apology

For the things you may hear

Mine is an honest opinion

Unbiased but not rude

But sometimes it gets distorted

And comes out sounding crude.

*                     *                     *

So if I speak my mind

And say just how I feel.

Don’t be mad, don’t be hurt

I am simply being real.

th (1)

Thankfullness

thWhile working hard at my desk,

Or maybe I should say WordPress?

I thought of my wife

And my wonderful life

And man did I ever felt blessed.

*                                 *                                    *

I thought of my three little boys

Who fill me up with such joy

I’ll never complain

No never again

About how they make too much noise.

*                            *                                          *

My wife, she’s an angel to me

She loves me unconditionally

Without her I’d fail

Like a ship without sail

Floundering and lost at sea.

*                                        *                                 *

So readers if today you’re sad

Remember it’s never that bad

Let no one steal your joy

Like a bully takes a toy

Even for life, just be glad.