Let’s get this damn show on the road!
Where the hell is everyone?
I don’t know about you but I am
Here to have some fun.
The show is starting rather late!
Something I rather hate.
Oh, here she is! Pardon me.
My girl Mariah Carey!
What the heck! Who is that?
Mariah in a hat?
Lip syncing? No, can’t be
That’s not my Mariah Carey!
Oh, the opening act, not a switch
Lol, it’s Britney bitch!
English: Logo from the television program The Walking Dead (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
After I interviewed the Dead
Questions remained in my head
Was this thing even really true?
I gave a dead man an interview?
Did I make the whole thing up?
The thoughts kept coming, wouldn’t stop.
I needed to prove it was no dream
And things were indeed as they seemed
So off in search of The Dead I went
From grave to grave, I was hell-bent.
And then I saw him standing there
As if formed right out of thin air.
Hey you Dead fella, long time no see I hope that you still remember me. The last interview you and I had Made me think I was raving mad My friends and family all laughed at me Interviewing The Dead? What a loony! So tell me mister, are you really dead? Or just playing weird games with my head?
Buddy, you know that I am for real
No fake here. I am the real deal.
Sorry your friends and family
Questioned your very sanity
You see I am a walking dead.
So let that sink into your head.
But…But how could this be so? Explain to me. I want to know Dead people just don’t walk around. They stay buried within the ground. How could you achieve this task? Is what I really want to ask.
I do belong deep in the earth
Covered in worms and stinky dirt
How I became a walking dead
I can’t decipher in my head.
So I just cannot explain to you
This zombie walking thing I do.
Well thank you anyhow, Zombie man I wish that I could understand But with my two eyes I could see That indeed you are in front of me This is my last goodbye to you Many thanks for the interview.
Please say a prayer for my soul
That it might find rest in this hole
Tell your friends and family
That you are sane as sane could be
And you should write another blog too
Call in Interview With The Dead Part II.
Do I look fat in these jeans?
Be careful answering, dear.
Remember what the shrink said?
Reply with care.
You look fine in your damn jeans!
Now stop it already!
What that stupid shrink said
Means not a thing to me.
But baby, I want to know
If I still look hot,
I gained a little bit of weight
And think I have a pot.
Can you please just shut up!
I can barely think.
You are so damn annoying,
You make me want to drink!
Do you look fat in your jeans?
No, not a fat chance,
You looked fat even before,
you put on those pants.
No you didn’t go there!
Like someone needs a fight.
I am not too shy
To whup your ass tonight!
You have the nerve to call me fat?
You dirty low-life snake!
You know I married your sorry ass
For your mommy’s sake?
Screw you! I am outta here!
I can’t live with a witch!
I hate to say this, but you are
Nothing but a bitch!
Honey baby please don’t leave,
I promise not to nag.
It’s just that I get like this
When I’m on my rag.
Are you really leaving me?
If so please let me know.
DO I LOOK FAT IN THESE JEANS?
Just answer yes or no.