Do I Look Fat In These Jeans?

th (1)Do I look fat in these jeans?
Be careful answering, dear.
Remember what the shrink said?
Reply with care.

You look fine in your damn jeans!
Now stop it already!
What that stupid shrink said
Means not a thing to me.

But baby, I want to know
If I still look hot,
I gained a little bit of weight
And think I have a pot.

 

Can you please just shut up!
I can barely think.
You are so damn annoying,
You make me want to drink!
Do you look fat in your jeans?
No, not a fat chance,
You looked fat even before,
you put on those pants.

No you didn’t go there!
Like someone needs a fight.
I am not too shy
To whup your ass tonight!
You have the nerve to call me fat?
You dirty low-life  snake!
You know I married your sorry ass
For your mommy’s sake?

Screw you! I am outta here!
I can’t live with a witch!
I hate to say this, but you are
Nothing but a bitch!

 

Honey baby please don’t leave,
I promise not to nag.
It’s just that I get like this
When I’m on my rag.
Are you really leaving me?
If so please let me know.
DO I LOOK FAT IN THESE JEANS?
Just answer yes or no.

 

 

(Door slams)

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