The Pregnant Nun

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DSCN0381 (Photo credit: Adam Comerford)

There was once a Nun

who had none.

Sex I meant,

not a pun.

Never touched by a man

except on her hand

She said sex was not any fun.

Her stomach was always sore

till she couldn’t take it no more

So she went to the doc

who said ‘You’re so full of croc

You are definitely preggers for sure!’

 

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Tired Of Winter

I am tired of the snow and cold.

Sick to my stomach, truth be told.

I don’t mind a little snow

But this crap just needs to go!

Like a hermit locked inside

My comfy house, forced to hide.

I hate to hear a windchill warning

Hey, what happened to global warming?

Some say it’s just a polar vortex

Excuses, excuses, now what’s next?

Maybe I’m just getting old

But I’m really sick of being cold