Poor Old Me

Is that a wrinkled skin I see?

Is that reflection really me?

What happened to my perfect teeth?

What’s that? Oh no crows feet!

I can barely make it up my stairs

(Pardon me, don’t mind my tears)

I used to be so young and spry

Now my bones are old and dried

And I know what’s coming next

One day I’ll say goodbye to sex.

My poor penis would take a dive

No libido no sex drive.

Oh well let the truth be told

I am indeed just getting old.

 

The writer. April 18th 2014

 

 

 

 

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I Want To…

While my hands rest
On your hips
I want to
Kiss your lips.
Feel your heartbeat
In your chest
As I caress
Your breasts.
I want to feel
Your body
As you lie
Right next to me.
I want to whisper
In your ear
Let you know
How much I care.
I want to say
My love is true
I want to make
Sweet love to you.

The Pregnant Nun

DSCN0381

DSCN0381 (Photo credit: Adam Comerford)

There was once a Nun

who had none.

Sex I meant,

not a pun.

Never touched by a man

except on her hand

She said sex was not any fun.

Her stomach was always sore

till she couldn’t take it no more

So she went to the doc

who said ‘You’re so full of croc

You are definitely preggers for sure!’

 

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aholic

I once drank way too much rum.
Yes I agree it was dumb.
I fell and hit my head,
Even pissed in my bed
And my penis was covered in gum.

The next week it was way too much rye.
I know, you are wondering why.
I totally agree
That I need therapy
Or one day I’ll surely die.

Then yesterday I had too much sex.
You are now wondering “What’s next?”
Not just with one chick.
My poor sore dick
No wonder my wife is upset.

The Author. April 20th 2013   

That Girl Rita

I had a bff named Rita,
Never loved her but I didn’t hate her.
She just wasn’t my type,
Or the time wasn’t ripe.
When she asked I always said later.

She wasn’t ugly, some called her pretty.
Smart, funny and a bit witty.
But she was only a friend
And I couldn’t pretend
To do so would have been shitty.

My friends they were really quite rude.
And asked if I saw Rita nude.
They said “how could you pass
On tapping that ass?
At least try touching a boob.”

But I never did pass my place.
Never saw below Rita’s waist.
She once bared her chest
And I did see her breast
But we never ever sucked face.

Now I regret the chances I missed.
No touch, not even a kiss?
Maybe I was gay,
Or just had no play
I could have,  I should have, I wish.

The Hands

Slowly, very slowly, The Hands disobey
Her brain and start their trek.
Down my chest they walk.  Momentary hesitations.
They stop.  NO!! Ok, it’s just a pause to explore
My hardened nipples.  Phew! Close!
Down to my belly button.  Lightly touching.
Then outside the walls of Babylon, they suddenly
Encounter resistance.  Damn it! My belt!
Would the walking stop? Suddenly awake and aware?
I breathe a sigh of disappointment.  But wait!
The Hands fumble with the latch to the
Gate.  Aah! My belt is undone!
Brain to hands come in please. Brain to hands.
Please cease and desist immediately!
Too late.  All connection is lost.  We have a rogue!
With a mind of their own, The Hands rip off
My pants.  Grope for the contents of my whities…
Heart pounding in my chest in expectation.
Yes! Finally!  Then she whispers.
Wake up honey! You are having a dream!

Note:  I just found out today that April is National Poetry Writing Month.  I am not sure if I am still eligible to enter as it is already the 2nd but that’s my entry for today.  I used a suggested prompt and started my poem using the first word from the poem, Silver.

Read also:

http://www.napowrimo.net/2013/04/it-begins/

A Poem A Day

I once had sex

I once had sex with a nun.
It wasn’t a whole heap of fun.
I wanted doggie,
She, missionary
At the end she said ‘Bless you son!”

I once had sex with a ghost
The one I remember the most.
For still in my dreams
I can hear her loud screams
Eerie and creepy of course.

I once had sex with an actress
Right on her big comfy mattress.
Man it was good
And I loved Hollywood
Even did it in her Oscar night dress.

I once had sex with an athlete
She asked me to worship her feet
She was much too fast
I just couldn’t last
It felt just like a track meet.

I once had sex with a blogger
LOL, the poor bugger.
It was such a mess
For we met on WordPress
My dear wife wanted to mug her.

I would never have sex with a man
Of that I am not a fan.
I have quite a fear
Of things in my rear
And being touched by another man’s hand.

I once had sex with my wife
The most wonderful time of my life
It was just right
We did it all night
And that’s how she became my wife.